Queen of Smut
by obsidians
Summary: Ukyo takes it as a personal challenge when her friend suggests she can't write lemons and naturally it is discovered. Please note that this story isn't even half of dirty as the title implies.
I don't own Ranma or its characters and I make no profit from writing these stories.

Btw, just wanted to say that my girl, sakurablossomhime and I co-wrote a story that was published under her account and called Sinner's Abandon if you like Final Fantasy 7 or just would like groovy lemons, check it out. Please note that she did 90% of the story, I only did about four scenes, so can only claim about 10% of the work. All the rest was her!

Roll 'em...

"So did you read "Love in Flames?" her friend, Aoi asked Ukyo.

"That trash? I don't go in for romance novels, you know; having to read through a thin angsty plot just for a little girly porn" Ukyo said dismissively.

"But this one is so well written and Lord Brandon is soooooo dreamy" she said with a sigh. "People really have to be good writers to write a romance novel convincingly" Aoi insisted.

"I can write better than that, and without having to read how _tormented_ Lord Brandon is, so that he might never love again...then nails the rowdy virginal Nanny...and suddenly, poof, they're wildly in love. There, I just laid out the entire plot, now add some smut and I could make millions off horny chicks" Ukyo scoffed.

"But you still have to be a good writer in order to _excite_ your audience" Aoi insisted.

"I can write good smut" Ukyo declared.

"How?" Aoi asked her.

"You just have to use character who excites you and have a working knowledge of sex" Ukyo explained.

"You're a virgin" Aoi stated.

"You don't have to a forest ranger to be able to catch a fish. You just have to have a basic knowledge of human anatomy and sexual responses" Ukyo insisted. "I tell you what; give me a few days and I'll write it for you" she offered.

"You're on" Aoi said. She was surprised when Ukyo gave her a notebook a few days later.

"Here's your copy, there are short stories in there, all of which are pure smut and straight to the point" Ukyo said to her friend in amusement.

"Written about Ranma?" her friend asked, reading the hero's name.

"As I said; you have to use a character who _excites_ you" Ukyo explained with a smirk.

"These are pretty racy" her friend said with a blush as she skimmed through a few stories.

"Let's just call me the Queen of Smut" Ukyo said.

"Well your majesty, you should be careful where you leave your notebook, or the people finding it and will get the wrong idea about you" her friend suggested.

"I'm always careful," Ukyo said and went to pick up her books; not realizing that the same said notebook was still sitting on the table.

Kuno and his Kendo colleagues grabbed the same table a few minutes later.

"Oh it looks like someone left their journal here" he said, opening it to look for a name and his eyes snapped wide open at what he was reading and he slowly and painfully blushed.

"What is it?" Kuno's second in command asked him.

"It seems to be some _highly_ creative writing" Kuno said in a strangled voice.

The man took the notebook from him and read aloud "I don't know what I was thinking when I decided to wear a flimsy white dress with nothing underneath on that rainy day, so when I met Ranma, it clung sodden to me and might as well have been transparent. His eyes smoldered as he studied me and I shivered with a mixture of embarrassment and desire to be looked at in such a heady way. His muscles flexed as he strode towards me and his powerful hand tore the dress from me, which parted as easily as gossamer spider webs, laying me bare to his heated gaze. With a single movement, he was on top of me, bent on ravishing my trembling and helpless form. The ground beneath us smelled of damp earth and fresh spring flowers as he parted my womanhood with his throbbing.." he read and broke off to look up at the other blushing teenaged boys. "What the hell is this?" he asked them.

"It seems whoever wrote this, has a thing for Ranma" someone observed.

"That narrows it down to about half the school's female population" someone muttered.

"Did your sister write this?" someone asked Kuno.

"You have a very dirty mind! My sister would never write such filth" Kuno snapped.

"Read some more" someone requested.

"Okay here's another part. Although I intended to remain a virgin until my wedding night. How could I say no to my beloved as he took me against the wall of my shower when I was attempting only to innocently clean myself? I could feel his own water drenched skin brushing against the diamond points of my excited nipples as he brutally unlocked the gates of my chastity, that nature had put in place to keep us apart and thrust into my..."

"That quite enough!" an agitated looking Kuno said, yanking it from him. "This reading material is _not_ fit for school" he said, suddenly skimreading it himself. "What does spit roast mean?" he asked his men. "Oh" he replied when the answer was whispered to him.

"Not fair, Kuno" someone said, yanking it from him again and read, "I thought that Ranma would understand that I was in a hurry that morning as I rushed through my morning routine wearing only panties and a bra. He came out of the washroom wearing only his own boxer shorts, with his rampant erection barely contained within, revealing to me a body that could make angels weep with envy. I tried to protest how I was running late as he assertively bent me over the soap..." the boy read with a frown. "That doesn't seem right. Oh, sofa" he corrected himself. "He assertively bent me over the sofa and tore my panties from me, I cried out as he explored with his tongue, the hot depths of my..." he said and looked up at the other boys, who were shifting uncomfortably on their benches and trying to hide their erections.

"Who the hell wrote these stories?" Kuno demanded.

"I don't know but she either has quite the imagination or experience...and I would love to meet her" someone said.

"And why is that?" Kuno demanded.

"Because if she can do this on paper; imagine what she could do in the sack" someone spelled it out for him.

"Oh?" he asked in confusion and then like a light bulb suddenly appeared over his head and got switched on, he added, "Ooooooooh" and shook his head to clear it of his own perverted thoughts. "Whoever wrote this, obviously meant it to be for her own enjoyment, based on who she chose as the hero in her story. I am personally going to turn this into the lost and found, so that she can claim it anonymously," Kuno said, closing the book with a decisive snap.

"Oh come on, let's just read a _little_ more" someone whined.

"Go home and watch your porn collection" Kuno snarled back.

"You're taking it home for _you_ to read" someone observed.

"What cheek! I am going to turn this book into the lost and found right after lunch" he declared, standing up with a glare.

Ukyo ran back to get her notebook, praying no one had read it and froze in horror to find it in Kuno's hand.

"Oh you found my notebook" she said, noticing it was closed in his hand, so she felt hopeful, as Kuno and twelve other pairs of eyes turned to look at the girl in a speculative way.

" _This_ is yours?" he asked her in strange sounding voice, sounding rather...hungry as he gazed at her in a weird way.

"Yes it's my class notes; I'm taking a creative writing course for extra credits" she said, giving them a grin that looked rather sickly and wondered why the entire Kendo club was staring at her like they were starving dogs and her, a steak dinner.

"I'm sorry which professor is offering _this_ course?" Kuno asked her with a blush.

"It's an online course only" she replied with her own blush. "You read it, didn't you?" she asked him in a strangled voice.

"Nonsense, I would never read someone's private notes" he insisted.

"Hey Ukyo, what are you doing this Friday?" one of them asked her.

"I'm working" she cautiously said. "Wait, did you _all_ read my notebook?" she asked them, aghast at the idea.

"Perhaps I can swing by afterwards and we can have a drink?" he suggested, she frowned when his offer didn't seem to include _leaving_ her place.

"Hey hands off, I was going to ask her out" someone objected.

"What are you doing Saturday?" another guy called and suddenly they were squabbling over who got to ask her out.

"Would you all stop squabbling over Ukyo!" Kuno demanded.

"Thank you" the heavily blushing young woman said with as much dignity as she could muster under the circumstances.

"Because obviously if she going to be dating anyone, as your captain; it's going to be me" he snapped and wondered why Ukyo had pivoted on her heel and started to walk away. "Come back, I wish to know more details about this online course; I could use extra credits. I could help you with your homework; I'm free most evenings and have been told I can be _quite_ creative" he called after her as she swiftly ignored him and started running down the hall.


End file.
